Simsville Voted Worst City in America
Simsville has been voted the worst city in America for the second time running in a poll conducted by the Consumerist. Simsville beat Detroit, Cleveland and Hobotown to win the “prestigiousR...
Category Archives: Local
Night of the Living Damned: Zombies Invade Simsville
In exclusive photos obtained by The Bugle, it appears that the walking dead are indeed walking the streets of Simsville. A series of photos taken by a reader of The Bugle, who wishes to remain anonym...
Simsville Under Siege!
A travelling band of trouble makers have been terrorizing the streets of Simsville, according to a Simsville Police Department spokesperson. All day long, Simsvillians have been reporting weird event...
Exclusive: Simsville 2.0 Plan Revealed, Conspiracy Theories Mount
A court order now allows The Bugle to publish leaked plans from the Mayor’s Office that shows a drastic re-zoning of East Simsville, and other major changes to the way the city operates. The pl...
Mayor’s Birthday Party Ruined By Protesters
Mayor Peter Less’s 58th birthday party was ruined by protesters protesting a variety of issues, from the lack of parks, to high rent, and even sewerage problems. A who’s who of Simsville ...
Recycling Center Malfunction Stumps Engineers
Simsville’s prized recycling center, only opened three month ago, has ground to a halt due to a mysterious malfunction that have stumped engineers trying to fix the problem. The brand new facil...
Does Your Water Taste Funny?
A disturbing rumor has been making the rounds on the Simsville subreddit of the popular Internet forum Reddit: our water comes from our poo! An user posting under the pseudonym ‘fancymonkey2012...
New Study: Lack Of Subway Hurting Tourism, Traffic
No, not the sandwich joint. But highly efficient trains that can run underneath our city’s overcrowded streets and dramatically alleviate our traffic problems. Or so a new study says. A new stu...
Opinion: Universities Are Great, But So Are Grade Schools And High Sch...
Most of Simsville was in shock when Mayor Peter Less announced the immediate closure of all grade schools and high schools, both as a budget measure, as well as part of a new experimental education r...
Mystery Solved: Squatter Squatting Skews Streetcar Stats
When it was revealed last month that an average Simsvillian had to wait 78 minutes to board a streetcar, something didn’t seem quite right. Take a walk around our beautiful city, and you’...